Dating Safely & Intelligently

1. Protecting Your Personal Information is Paramount

In the early stages of getting to know someone, exercise caution about sharing personal details too quickly. This includes sensitive information like your home or work address, details about your daily routine (e.g., the gym you go to), or any financial information. Get to know someone through the safety of our platform before deciding to share more private contact details like your personal phone number, social media profiles, or email address. A person who respects your boundaries will understand and appreciate your prudence.

2. Keep Communication on the Platform Initially

We strongly recommend keeping your conversations on the dating platform for the initial period of getting to know a match. Individuals with fraudulent or malicious intentions often try to move the conversation to personal text, messaging apps (like WhatsApp), email, or phone calls immediately. Staying on the platform protects you from potential scams, phishing attempts, and keeps a secure and verifiable record of your communication. Be extremely wary of anyone who sends unsolicited links or attachments, as these can be malicious.

3. Leverage Video Chats Before You Meet in Person

Before committing to an in-person meeting, we highly encourage having one or more video chats. This is a simple yet powerful way to verify that the person matches their profile photos and to get a much better sense of their personality, mannerisms, and overall vibe. A video call can help prevent "catfishing" (where someone uses a fake identity) and can make you feel significantly more comfortable and confident before meeting face-to-face. If a match is hesitant or makes excuses to avoid a video call, it could be a significant red flag.

4. First Meetings: Public, Planned, and Prudent

For your first several dates, always arrange to meet in a public place. Choose a familiar, well-lit, and populated location where you feel comfortable and safe, such as a busy coffee shop, a reputable restaurant, or a public park during the daytime. Avoid meeting at their home, your home, or any other private or secluded location until you have established a solid level of trust. Crucially, inform a trusted friend or family member about your plans. Let them know where you're going, who you're meeting (sharing a name and photo can be wise), and when you expect to be back. A quick text to check in during or after the date is also a good practice.

5. Maintain Control Over Your Transportation

Always maintain complete control over your own transportation to and from the date. This ensures you can leave whenever you want to, for any reason, without having to rely on your date for a ride home. Even if they offer, it's safer and wiser to arrange your own way there and back for the first few meetings. This independence is a key component of personal safety and allows you to control the duration of the date without any awkwardness.

6. Stay Sober and Aware

While a glass of wine might seem like a good way to calm first-date nerves, it's wise to stay sober or strictly limit your alcohol consumption on the first few dates. Keeping a clear head is essential. It allows you to stay fully aware of your surroundings, to accurately assess the situation and your date's behavior, and to make sound judgments. Your safety is more important than easing a little bit of social anxiety.

7. Trust Your Instincts Above All Else

Your intuition is one of your most powerful safety tools. If something feels off, it probably is. Never ignore that feeling in your gut. You should never feel obligated to continue a conversation, respond to a message, or go on (or stay on) a date if you feel uncomfortable, pressured, or unsafe for any reason. If someone's behavior is raising alarm bells—even if you can't quite put your finger on why—it is perfectly acceptable to politely end the interaction and leave. Your comfort and safety are non-negotiable.

8. Recognizing and Responding to Red Flags

Be aware of common warning signs. These red flags should prompt you to proceed with caution or end contact:

• Intense Pressure: Pressuring you for personal information, private photos, or to meet before you are comfortable.
• Vagueness and Inconsistency: Avoiding direct questions about their life, or providing stories that seem vague or change over time.
• Immediate Declarations of Love: Professing strong, intense feelings for you immediately, without having gotten to know you (a manipulation tactic known as "love bombing").
• Financial Requests: Any request for money, gifts, or financial help for any reason whatsoever. This is the number one sign of a scam. Report this immediately.
• Disrespectful Behavior: Being rude or disrespectful to you, service staff, or others is a clear indicator of their character.
• Controlling or Isolating Behavior: Attempting to control who you talk to or isolate you from your friends and family.
• Guilt-Tripping: Making you feel guilty for setting personal boundaries.

9. Never, Ever Send Money or Financial Information

This point cannot be overstated. Legitimate daters and our vetted members will never ask you for financial assistance. Be extremely wary of any request for money, no matter how convincing, tragic, or urgent their story may seem. Common scams involve tales of travel expenses, medical emergencies, business problems, or visa issues. Do not send money, gift cards, or share your bank account or credit card information. Report any user who asks for money to our team immediately and without hesitation.

10. Always Have an Exit Strategy for In-Person Meetings

For in-person meetings, it's always wise to have a pre-planned exit strategy in mind. This doesn't have to be dramatic. You could simply mention at the beginning of the date that you have another engagement later in the day, or arrange for a friend to call you at a specific time to "check in." This provides a natural and graceful reason to end the date if you're not feeling comfortable, without causing a scene.

11. Reporting Concerns to Our Team

If you encounter any suspicious profiles, behavior that violates our community guidelines, or anything that makes you feel unsafe, please report it to our trust and safety team immediately. Your confidential reports are vital and help us maintain a safe, respectful, and high-quality community for everyone. Provide as much detail as possible (including screenshots of conversations if applicable) so we can take swift and appropriate action.

12. After the Date: A Final Check-In

Once you have safely departed from your date, check in with your designated friend or family member to let them know you are safe. Reflect on how the date went. If you felt uncomfortable, disrespected, or unsafe at any point, you are under no obligation to go on another one. Your comfort and safety are the most important things in this journey.